Struggling To Make Time For My Spirit

I haven’t prayed in a while, not intentionally of course. But the thought always escapes me, and when I do happen to remember I procrastinate… its a vicious cycle. It really hit home when my mum told me that she was told by God, while praying for me that I don’t have time for him. Which took me aback, because whenever my mum asks me if I pray. I lie, and say I do, just to avoid the lecture that would follow, if I said no.

So, she had no other way of knowing, which means she was in fact informed by the big man upstairs. I feel like my problem was and somewhat is that I don’t know how to pray… which sounds stupid and far-fetched. But let me explain…

Growing up in an African household and going to a predominately black church, you are exposed to the “flamboyant” style of prayer. The prayer warrior edition, if you will. The raised voice, clenched fists and prolonged duration of prayer. Things that I never understood growing up, teachings say that God wants a relationship with you. But what kind of healthy relationship involves constant shouting, feet stomping? it didn’t feel intrinsic to prayer or necessary.

Anyway, this pushed me to believe that this was the “right way” to pray. You had to begin a certain way and end an certain way. I have since learnt that this isn’t the case, you can talk to the Lord the way you would your parents or friends, because that is exactly what he his.

A guardian and a friend.

But whenever I start a prayer with “Hi God” its cringe-worthy, I think to myself “shouldn’t I be addressing the creator all of life with a little more respect?

Another aspect is FOMO (fear of missing out). Allocating time to building a relationship with the lord means that something else will be neglected. But in my case, the things that will be neglected are minuscule and dumb. For instance, checking to see what’s happening on the TL, or watching the next episode of that series. Things that aren’t running anywhere and will be right there once I get back.

Also, I unfortunately don’t have the patience. I want quick results. Something that isn’t always the case with prayer. It takes time and perseverance.

Anyway, I’ve now decided to actively try and make more time for prayer and reflection, because I’ve come to a point in my life where it seems like the only the most logical. But also beneficial thing to do.

If you share the same or similar dilemma, a problem shared is a problem halved. It’s always good to have a partner to motivate and push you in any aspect of life. Prayer is no different in that sense. It would be a good idea to find some that you can see has a strong prayer routine and ask them for tips.

But before anything, the first step is all about holding out that olive branch and committing yourself to making that first prayer in a long time and also asking the lord for help in making doing so a habit.

I’ve gotten all spiritual and evangelist in this post, but it has been on my mind for a day or two now. Had to unload it somewhere, and what better place than here?


The song for today is: Dim My Light – Scribz Riley ft 6LACK


6 responses to “Struggling To Make Time For My Spirit”

  1. This one is too relatable! Good read

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks man, appreciate it!


  2. Yeah, this is definitely relatable. it has been a tough year and I’ve also found it hard to pray. My faith hasn’t faltered….I have just been unable to be consistent 😩

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Most definitely, can’t wait to be rid of this year. The epitome of anticlimactic. And yeah, I’m very inconsistent when it comes to prayer

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Interesting to read about people’s spiritual (or otherwise) backgrounds and compare to one’s own. I wasn’t brought up as a Christian per se, but definitely to follow Christian values in life. My parents allowed us the freedom to choose our path, and I chose early on not to join a church or follow religion. However, I have prayed. Many times. Oh God, have I prayed. And you know what, anyone can pray, any time, without having to be devout or actively worship in a church, or even being technically a Christian. Yes. I’m an aetheist who sometimes prays. Mind blown?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Human’s are naturally religious, or religiously driven (spiritual) so it doesn’t shock me at all that you (being an atheist) pray.

      Liked by 1 person

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